Alright guys, this is a topic that I think is EXTREMELY important. This blog in and of itself is not religious, but the thing is that my religion is a huge part of my life and the way that my marriage functions. I will quote and add links to materials from my faith. Marriage should be a spiritual experience after all, spirituality is a huge part of this life as is family, they really should intertwine and compliment each other. So just a heads up. Now, should I act the same when I am away from my wife as I do when I am with her? The answer is absolutely. I'll share some instances with you, as well as beliefs to back this answer up.
There is a document that the LDS church released in 1995 called The Family: A Proclamation To The World that states the church's stance on what a family is and what principles families should be based upon. In this document the Prophets and Apostles say "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."
We are going to focus on the first sentence first that quote, there are many many different subjects that branch off of this sentence. The one that we will focus on is the family being founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ teaches us that we should beware of hypocrisy. When you act one way with your spouse and then another way when you are not with them you are being dishonest with them and making them think that you are something that you may or may not be. Either way, somebody is not seeing the "real you". James 1:8 says "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." Your spouse needs you to be honest with them in everything, if you are not then your relationship will hit more rough patches than necessary because you are being unstable in some form or another.
I have had experiences where I was tempted to act differently away from my wife than I do with her. For example, I had a job once where my co-workers thought that I ought to swear at least once before my last day there. I never did. My reason? Firstly because I do not enjoy how I feel when I swear. Secondly, because my wife would have been disappointed in me using that language even though she may have never found out.
Going back to the quote from The Family: A Proclamation To The World, the second part says "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." Not all of those apply to this topic, but I feel like faith, respect, and love at the very least do. You have to have faith in Jesus Christ to found your family on his teachings. By having faith in him I feel like you try to do what he would want you to do, part of which is being consistent with who you are and constantly trying to make yourself better. Out of respect for your spouse you should be honest with who you are when you are with them. If you truly love them you won't hide who you are from them, you may feel the need to protect them from certain parts of you, but you should never ever be dishonest about who you are with them. I truly believe that you don't have to share every intricate detail of your past with your partner. Like what exactly you said to your previous significant others, or some of your past mistakes. There are things that you don't need to dig up. What I do think is important though is that they know who you are as a person. They need to know what you are like, how you act, speak, think, and what you desire.
The moral of the story is that your spouse needs to know who you are, not necessarily what exactly you have done in the past, but what to expect from you now. You need to be consistent in who you are regardless of whether or not they are around as well. More than anything it is to be fair to them. Don't be false with anybody. Just be yourself, they will understand and be there for you where you need help as well as be there in need of your help where you are strong. Your spouse is the most accepting person of you, just let them be so and don't hold back! Be the same no matter who you are with. Let me know what you thought of this post, comment below or email me! I would love some feedback! Remember, just be yourself, always!
There is a document that the LDS church released in 1995 called The Family: A Proclamation To The World that states the church's stance on what a family is and what principles families should be based upon. In this document the Prophets and Apostles say "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."
We are going to focus on the first sentence first that quote, there are many many different subjects that branch off of this sentence. The one that we will focus on is the family being founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ teaches us that we should beware of hypocrisy. When you act one way with your spouse and then another way when you are not with them you are being dishonest with them and making them think that you are something that you may or may not be. Either way, somebody is not seeing the "real you". James 1:8 says "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." Your spouse needs you to be honest with them in everything, if you are not then your relationship will hit more rough patches than necessary because you are being unstable in some form or another.
I have had experiences where I was tempted to act differently away from my wife than I do with her. For example, I had a job once where my co-workers thought that I ought to swear at least once before my last day there. I never did. My reason? Firstly because I do not enjoy how I feel when I swear. Secondly, because my wife would have been disappointed in me using that language even though she may have never found out.
Going back to the quote from The Family: A Proclamation To The World, the second part says "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." Not all of those apply to this topic, but I feel like faith, respect, and love at the very least do. You have to have faith in Jesus Christ to found your family on his teachings. By having faith in him I feel like you try to do what he would want you to do, part of which is being consistent with who you are and constantly trying to make yourself better. Out of respect for your spouse you should be honest with who you are when you are with them. If you truly love them you won't hide who you are from them, you may feel the need to protect them from certain parts of you, but you should never ever be dishonest about who you are with them. I truly believe that you don't have to share every intricate detail of your past with your partner. Like what exactly you said to your previous significant others, or some of your past mistakes. There are things that you don't need to dig up. What I do think is important though is that they know who you are as a person. They need to know what you are like, how you act, speak, think, and what you desire.
The moral of the story is that your spouse needs to know who you are, not necessarily what exactly you have done in the past, but what to expect from you now. You need to be consistent in who you are regardless of whether or not they are around as well. More than anything it is to be fair to them. Don't be false with anybody. Just be yourself, they will understand and be there for you where you need help as well as be there in need of your help where you are strong. Your spouse is the most accepting person of you, just let them be so and don't hold back! Be the same no matter who you are with. Let me know what you thought of this post, comment below or email me! I would love some feedback! Remember, just be yourself, always!
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