Hello everyone! I hope that you all had a good week this past week! I know that I did! If you read last week's post then I sure do hope that it helped you to remember some good things about your spouse. I have found that writing things down, especially feelings and thoughts, helps me to stay anchored and not lose sight of things. I would encourage you to write down how you feel as you are on your journey to becoming a better spouse.
For those of you that are wondering how this week's topic goes "hand in hand" with last week's, the answer is that they complement each other. There are times that you might feel like you're losing your spouse or growing apart from them. This might even be the reason that you are questioning why you chose who you chose. If that is the case then simply remembering why you married them might not be enough to help you. That being said here are ten things that my spouse and I do to grow closer and stay close to each other.
#1 Cook and Eat Together
One of my favorite things to do with my wife is picking out a meal and then working together on the making of it. There is just something magical about working together to accomplish something. We then sit down and eat together. One of the things that I love is that Brandi is adamant about spending quality time at the table. No phones, no computers or books, just us.
#2 Wake Up and Fall Asleep Together
There are times when you will have different schedules. There was a time that Brandi had class at eight in the morning and I had work at nine thirty. I usually would sleep until around eight thirty and then get up and get ready for the day. Brandi asked me if I would get up with her at six thirty while she got ready for school, which I did. I noticed that not only did it make Brandi happier, but I myself felt happier getting to spend that time in the morning with my wife.
Falling asleep together is vital. Once again if you have different schedules then find a way to make this step happen. There is nothing more amazing than lying next to the person that you love and falling asleep together. This step is small, but it really makes a large difference.
#3 Hold Hands When You Are In Public
This is advice that I got from an older gentleman. I have tried it and it really changes the feel of being out and about with your spouse. Even if you are a little bit skittish about showing affection in public, you need to try this. Doing this helps you to feel connected with your spouse on a physical and emotional level even though your eyes and ears may be taking in the things around you. It makes your spouse feel like you are proud to be theirs. Try it out, you won't regret it.
#4 Dance Together
I am not a very good dancer, just so that you know, but sometimes when Brandi is feeling down or when I want to just have some fun with her we turn on music and dance. Normally we play the song from our first dance and slow dance a little bit. If we are feeling extra adventurous we will play some techno, classical, or waltz music as well and make a two person dance party out of it (three if you count our dog). It is a lot of fun, dancing really helps you to let loose and enjoy each other.
#5 Say "I Love You" At Least Twice A Day
Before I got married I heard all of the time that you should tell your spouse that you love them at least once a day. I don't agree, I think that you should tell them at least twice a day. I tell Brandi that I love her when we wake up and when we go to bed. It's not a routine thing, it just feels natural to start and end the day expressing how I feel about my wife. Obviously you can tell them more than twice a day, but your minimum should be two times per day.
#6 Pray Together
President Thomas S. Monson of the LDS church says "the family that prays together stays together". I believe this with all of my heart. Brandi and I pray at every meal, and we pray in the morning and at night. Obviously you should pray for yourself, but pray with your spouse sometimes. Brandi and I pray out loud and take turns so that we both get the opportunity to speak with our Heavenly Father. Praying together is important because it is a time that you can share your concerns with God. Praying specifically for your spouse to help them overcome any challenges that they are having and for your marriage really helps your spouse to feel like you care. Not to mention that you are vocalizing your feelings and asking help from your Creator.
#7 Continue Dating
You may be married, but there are still aspects of your spouse that you don't know or need to get to know better. You and your spouse need to continue dating, get to know each other even better. Brandi and I find joy in setting aside time to be together, just her and I, doing something that helps us to feel the connection that we have. Try and mix it up, try new things, have fun with each other! You are with the most important person in the world to you, help them to feel that. Try and make it a regular thing, go out once a week.
Make your dates about your relationship, you are dating to keep your relationship happy. In today's world there are so many distractions, try and cut as many of those out as you can. For example Brandi and I will either leave our cell phones in the car or turn them off, just to be able to not worry about anybody but us and our time together.
#8 Spend Time "Alone"
Life is busy, there is a lot of "stuff" to do, from work to going grocery shopping. It is important to spend time alone together. Dates can count, but I'm talking about non-planned events. Go on an Sunday walk together. Cuddle up and just talk. Go on out on a drive. You get the idea. It's important to just have that time to connect and talk to each other. I don't have kids (yet) but I can imagine that it would be nice to have some alone time if you do have children. Escape for a time, even if it is only fifteen minutes, take the time to get away.
#9 Be Chivalrous
I feel like this one kind of speaks for itself. Men, do the little things. Simple as that. Open the door for her. Let her in and out of the car. Order her meal when you are at a restaurant. Pull out her chair. Do anything that you can think of to do for her to make her feel special. The most important part of chivalry isn't doing it because she expects it. You should do it to show her that you care about her, because you do! You wouldn't be reading this blog if you didn't. Show her. She needs you to show her. This is just one small way that you can.
#10 Have Some "Play Time"
Once again, this is another way to connect with your spouse. Let your kids join in on this one too if you would like. The object of playing together is just having some good old fashioned fun! Play board games, card games, and if you are in to it some video games together. You can even wrestle or make a game up! Playing is a great way to exercise your relationship. Games are fun, but they also create memories. So take the time to wind down and have some relaxed fun time with your spouse. I promise, you won't regret it.
There you have it! 10 ways that you can grow closer to your spouse. I hope that you found something in the list helpful. What are some things that you and your spouse do to grown closer to each other? Thank you for reading! Come back next week, I'll have number seven of the 50 Things That I have Learned About Marriage up next Monday, February 22nd. I'll see you then!
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